“You are never too old to set a new goal or dream a new dream.” C.S. Lewis
Some people make resolutions and others make goals. Over a month ago I decided to say fuck it all and I moved to San Diego California with barely enough money to pay bills.
My life leading up to this had been traveling and seeing family and friends. I had already committed to this little big journey by putting my things in storage at a friends house. As with many decisions in life, it is best to have a back up plan, so I thought, well I can always go back. So off I went with a few boxes of clothes and a backpack. I had lofty pretty sparkling dreams of life in sunny San Diego, much like believing in unicorns that shit glittery rainbows.
Now I know that change and making big leaps of faith is much like stepping off the edge and hoping…no silently praying, please let this work out. At the same time making a big change with so little is nothing new to me but all the same, it takes faith in yourself. It takes time to adapt to a new life, the unknown and sometimes working a job that you wouldn’t normally want to do. Of course there are perks to changing your life. I get to wander the city, go to the beach when time allows and meet new people. The hard part for me is missing my old life, going to brunch with my friends and all the people I love. The hardest part though is swallowing my pride and admitting I am lonely. It is the palpable loneliness that I feel. It only makes any struggles seem that much more difficult. Though I just have to remember I have been though tougher situations, as most people have. The ability to endure and come out with a smile, or at least a dark sense of humor is what will save you from falling into the loneliness trap.
Change is good for the soul, though it can be harder than originally thought and emotionally many people aren’t prepared. I’m getting there slowly but surely and the fact that there are more sunny days than gloomy ones makes it harder to fall into the funk and not want to get out of bed. My life is far from perfect but I’m working hard at keeping my chin up and reminding myself that this is the hard part. Working on oneself is constant and no matter the struggle, at the end of the day you just have to have faith in yourself. I’m working on it every day, even the hard ones when I wish I could just go back to my life in Bellingham. So wild wanderers, dream a new dream and go forth. Don’t forget to have faith in yourself and sometimes struggle makes for an amazing story.
I’ll keep you posted on this journey so keep checking in!!